I honestly don't think it's just about lack of dads, although I do recognise that is an important factor. (I say that as a single mother whose son still feels wronged by the absence of his father from his life.) But I think modern feminism is even more to blame. We've denied men a role. We claim we can do anything they can. We even belittle the odd modern gent who holds open a door. We claim discrimination where we have experienced none. My son has lost far more opportunities by being white, straight and male than I ever did. We also have a problem with the realities of male desire. We demand that we be allowed to wear little or nothing and to drink as much as we want and behave however we want, yet rail against the "male gaze". We seem to see all men as potential abusers. If you tell people over and over that they are bad can you blame them for being bad. It's the same as race politics. Tell me endlessly that my culture is toxic and exploitative and my whiteness is fragile, in the end I am going to get both defensive and aggressive. I am going to become the racist you claim I already am. What needs to divide people is just one thing - virtue. Nothing else matters. That is what we should be teaching boys and girls. Believe me, girls are not innocent victims. Try being bullied every day of your life in an all girl's school.
I honestly don't think it's just about lack of dads, although I do recognise that is an important factor. (I say that as a single mother whose son still feels wronged by the absence of his father from his life.) But I think modern feminism is even more to blame. We've denied men a role. We claim we can do anything they can. We even belittle the odd modern gent who holds open a door. We claim discrimination where we have experienced none. My son has lost far more opportunities by being white, straight and male than I ever did. We also have a problem with the realities of male desire. We demand that we be allowed to wear little or nothing and to drink as much as we want and behave however we want, yet rail against the "male gaze". We seem to see all men as potential abusers. If you tell people over and over that they are bad can you blame them for being bad. It's the same as race politics. Tell me endlessly that my culture is toxic and exploitative and my whiteness is fragile, in the end I am going to get both defensive and aggressive. I am going to become the racist you claim I already am. What needs to divide people is just one thing - virtue. Nothing else matters. That is what we should be teaching boys and girls. Believe me, girls are not innocent victims. Try being bullied every day of your life in an all girl's school.